Top 10 Things You Should Never Say to Your Kids

Avoid lowering your child's self-esteem

Parents sometimes say things they regret. Your child may do something that is so upsetting you can’t keep control your reaction and, wham, something not so nurturing or supportive comes out of your mouth.

Being a parent requires responsibility even when it comes to word choice. Inadvertently uttered phrases may change a child’s worldview or make them develop poor morals. Part of our behavior stems from how we were treated as children. Some may be related to current stressful condition.

You are not alone all parents say the wrong things occasionally, but the ones who parent intentionally and mindfully do so less frequently than parents who don’t bother to reflect on how their words or actions impact their children most.

Some of our feeling overwhelmed, helpless, frustrated, worried can all lead us to making these types of comments. But child's mind tends to generalize and personalize statements, and even flippant comments have a lasting impact.

Of the several worst comments that come out of the mouths of moms. Here we discuss a few of the most damaging ones:

1.    You are so stupid.

Children do stupid things -- a lot of them -- but when you shout it out as an exasperated statement, they can take it literally and take it to heart. What your child only hears is, ‘You are so stupid.' 

2. What's wrong with you? 

Although you may feel there is something terribly wrong with a behavior your child is acting out in the moment, these words can stick for life. Your child can interpret this to mean ‘there is someone wrong with me.’

3.    Wait until Dad gets home!

Even when your kids have you pulling out your hair, be wary of playing good cop/bad cop. You're not only making Dad the bad guy, you're also undermining your own authority. Instead, address the situation in the moment, even if you have to tell your child that you and Dad will have to decide on the consequences together later on.

4.  I'm busy!

Your child never fails to need your attention when you're in the middle of something. But dismissing her needs and making her feel undervalued can eventually lead to your youngster getting in the habit of not telling you other important things. While we aren't advocating that you drop everything, parents shouldn't say "I'm busy!" Instead, let her know that as soon as you're done with your task you'll be happy to help her.

5. You cannot do it.

Children are capable of performing the extraordinary. While early results may suggest otherwise, there are some children who rise up to the occasion later in life. Do not tell them that they cannot do it, but tell allow them to try new innovative ways to accomplish.

6. You cannot improve.

Yes, children can be restless, and sometimes may demonstrate less hope, but that is not the reason to give up on them. Give them their time and your assistance. Even in rough conditions, giving up is never an option.

7. Your actions make no difference.

Be it a discussion inside your premises, or a simple conversation while shopping, value the opinions shared by your children. Do not let them interfere in issues that are not relevant to their age, but do not isolate them along with their opinions for no reason.

8. You always lose.

This is another statement that can create an atmosphere of negativity inside your child’s mind. Tell them to value participation more than victory. Making them learn to accept defeat shall go a long way in preparing them for the challenges of life.

9. Learn from your sibling.

Do not compare your children to their sibling. Not only this hampers their confidence, but also inserts in them a sense of insecurity and apprehension. Every child is different, even if they are of the same blood, and parents must learn to respect that fact.

10. You deserve a punishment.

Do not threaten your children by saying that they deserve punishment for the every small mistake they make while taking up a new challenge. Not only it makes them paranoid, but also discourages them, thus leading to less exploration of ideas. Therefore, do not punish your children for every little thing. Be stern, but do not be a hindering force.

So, these are the few things that should not be said to children. Saying such negative phrases frequently can definitely hamper the self esteem and confidence of children. Parenting has many dimensions and it is important to recognize each one of them.

Children look to their parents for love, support, and approval. The thing kids’ fear most, apart from abandonment, is disappointing their parents. So these phrases, often spoken in fits of anger or frustration, hit kids where they are most vulnerable. Parents may think that correcting their children's mistakes help them learn, but often what children hear is that they can't do anything right or that they are not 'good enough.